It can't be any worse.

I returned the car today. i was so unwilling to do that, but i swear it isn't the reason why i'm feeling so low. i'll call this one of the worst days in dec.. the best car ride i had was the one at 4am today morning! There was almost no CARS on the road. Surprisingly i wasn't speeding. i was just blasting music and enjoying that peaceful ride! Alright so I went to return the car at 4pm plus with Azil & Shaz. Thanks a lot. Went with azil to bugis after that. I owe her a bigger THANK YOU. she was trying to get me out of the shit i was stuck in. With exams on wed & thurs, she clearly knew that i will die if i continue being like that. She tried all ways. She abused me. yeah & i guess it helped a lil. ermm, but i'm so sorry, i'm still kinda distracted. I cannot focus. so tensed up with everything now. Feeling so stupid, lousy, dumb! it's horrible.. Thinking so hard of smth I can't let go. serve me right! I'll pay the price for it now. I'll learn my lesson all over again. EXAMS ARE HERE! I love ISO & ITMKTG! i will finish it off & disappear for good!

in ♥ with MUSIC

I love taylor swift's songs.. Simply nice luh.. Once you hear it, it's like ADDICTIVE coz u need to keep on hearing! haha. Hmm.. life has been pretty shaky.. Very shaky in fact! ya but i dun seem very bothered about it luh.. I'm into looking for a pretty good car since dad's like screaming for me to choose what model/make i would want so he can get it faster. I'm just super confused. Coz it's like not so safe to just select anyhow. & there's so much process to go thru.. There's road tax, COE, car maintenance, car insurance & all that shit to think abt. No one drives at HOME! so what if they pour me with the money but when I just can't handle all of these things myself. Kinda stressed up luh. Very stressful to look for a car. HAIZ. I'm cancelling my trip to Hong Kong next month.. Too near, I'm not prepared to leave. I just dun feel like going. I wanna stay here! Rather spend that money on the Europe trip in june next year. Much more worth it i guess! anyway, renting a car for the weekend from tmr till next monday.. erm, dun ask why. Just feel like driving away somewhere alone! Leave me alone.. Seriously! I need a break.. On the verge of exploding.. Just trying to cool things down within. rather ridiculous.. i just realised that we're of different frequencies, different levels. there's even no place for higher order thinking, mature level conversations.. It's always the same stuffs. Such a pain! in the end, you just have people with no originality trying to speak like you, behave like you, copy your style, try to think like you. Erm, it doesn't actually work that way coz you & I are different. I'm hearing complains after complains. It really gets on my nerves! I'll give you some time, i hope things changes. Remember, I'm your friend. I swear i dun require gd nyt msges, i love you & i miss you sayings, hugs that i dun find sincere at all, msges after msges.. All i need is for u to just think for urself practically. Life's not a joke, GET REAL la for goodness sake!

A BLUNDER!

How could it be?????? I'm super freaking confused luh.. WTH! is this happening to me? i mean, i'm not saying that it can't but how the hell could i have let this happen! i'm stuck now. Damn it. I dunno where to move, what to do, or how to react! SHIT! ok chill, its over. so maybe i shld just stop thinking so much. FISH MAN!! haiiiyoooooh. anyway, i met angel today. she lent me 8 movies to watch. & i'm not kidding! so yeap, it'll keep me occupied thru my sleepless nights.. i din eat for 2 bloody days & the effects were out today! i cldn't take it any longer, no one was home, no food at home so i rushed down to GAYU's place just to eat. i cldn't take it.. was at my weakest.. but i did lose some weight after all :) then we had this manicure session! not for me luh.. i just crazily love helping people with their nails so yup.. and so i returned home at abt 9pm.. it was raining the whole day.. so pissing off! i only woke up at abt 4pm.. i slept late in the morning luh, tats always my excuse! & i kinda miss hearing his voice.. it was 2 days & lots of impact.. hmm, this weekend's gonna be kinda tight. i guess till monday.. hmm, shld be having time for myself to study after tat. probably with angel @ Ehub.. haha.. i love the internet connection there!! AWESOME! yup, exams are a week away.. so good luck to us! especially after what teacher said, i'm kinda tensed! but it'll go fine i hope! I love it. I LOVE YOU! who sia??? Aiyah, nobody luh!!! ADIOZ!

CRAZY updates!

LIFE's great! that's the main thing i've got to say! I passed my TP today. Got my F!@#$%^ driving license.. waiting for the CAR.. things have been pretty good lately.. i mean, my whole life.. The past 2 months or so have been AWESOME. i really love every bit of tym i'm spending with my loved ones.. hahha.. have been watching pretty much movies.. watched Aadhavan like 3 tyms.. Twice with giraffe & hippo.. once was after sneaking in :) SO FUN luh.. then we went to disturb all the dogs.. was super scared of those HUGE dogs.. but why worry with him there?!! hahah.. then had CAR****** for the first tym in my life.. hahhaha, wad an experience! watched love happens with bro & giraffe.. then watched paranormal activity with giraffe & hippo.. stupid movie. I'M NOT SCARED la! aiyoh aiyoh!!.. then i loved tat night.. hanged out with hippo.. had am*******.. yup.. the place was awesome.. tat blk was so windy & nice... super peaceful! we talked a bit, focused on drinking.. LOL.. then went to mac.. then he sent me home.. & he cabbed home.. he's a really great friend.. such a nice person.. hahaha.. i guess one of the rare species of guys in this world!! its just him.. lucky in life to have met such a person.. its really nice to spend time with friends.. the kind of care & concern they shower u with, makes u feel so loved! ARGGHH.. or is it that i'm just in love??? no luh, can't be.. hmmmmm.. anyway, i'm super happy for SELVA.. he's in love.. i like what he said & i'm gonna quote it here. "Love someone who loves you, instead of going after the one you love".. aiyah, somewhere along those lines la.. was nice... hope everything goes well for him! haizzz.. working at the moment, started like TWO WEEKS back.. doing telemarketing.. its at BOAT QUAY.. along those pubs & clubs.. such a wonderful place.. BUT i swear i HATE the job.. its stupid to force ppl.. i totally hate it.. but just for the money, why not! hmmm.. dec's gonna be a pretty busy month.. having exams, major events, christmas celeb!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEE.. just loving it =)

My dream guy, I LOVE YOU.

I heard the song & i cried. I thought of him & I cried. Someone I met not long ago has made such a great impact in my life. He's different from all others I've seen. He goes through so much of pain yet still keeps others happy. He jokes, he laughs, he smiles together with you. He cares more than anyone else would do. He tries not to hurt you, but my dear, everything you left unsaid, brought the tears down my face! I saw that exact love I was longing for. He swept me off my feet & I'm not kidding. He's an awesome friend, a great guy, a real man! My dream guy, I LOVE YOU.